I've been so freakin' tired lately. I just have so much to do all the time and in my down time I don't do the work I should be doing.

YCTIWY has gotten great review(s) and I'm pumped for this weekend. I hope some CT friends can come and see it. In other news, I wish I had a car. Sometimes I just can't handle Burlington. I miss my friends that aren't around.

Some things have really been frustrating and disappointing lately, but I have so much work to do that I've been trying not to think about it. There's just a low simmering anger inside of me all the time that I'm trying to find an outlet for. Anger is not something I feel too often, it's kind of weird.

Have I mentioned how I miss my friends? My entire family came this weekend and it made me so ready for Thanksgiving break. It's closer than I think...and yet so far away...

Shows all weekend. I love my cast. Things with the Yankees fan are interesting. I can't figure out my feelings for him, I like him and he makes me laugh...but he is a terrible kisser and shitty in bed and also sort of a bro. This is problematic. I occasionally find him charming, much to my dismay. He sounds like Keaneu Reaves and walks like Meg Ryan. Gross.

WELL. My Halloween was fucking nuts. Crazy things happened. Absolutely crazy things. I was beyond fucked up and having a blast and walking all over Burlington with my gang of friends, flirted with half the room and danced to David Bowie like I was born to do it. My costume was the bomb.

I'm upset that I missed the wedding of the century though. Looking at the FB pictures made my heart clench a little bit. I just cleaned the whole house and now I'm burning a vanilla candle. It's smells goooood. i just did two loads of laundry too! I'm feeling very productive.

I'm hungover and the next door neighbor's shitty band is practicing. I think they're called Abraham Backfur. I'm not joking.

Tech is in one week from today. This is crazy. The show rocks, I'm so pumped. This week is gonna blow, but at least I have no more midterms. Just a giant research paper or two due, no big deal. I think I'm gonna take a nap once my laundry is done. I woke up at eight too hungover to go back to sleep, which is the worst.

YCTIWY is eating up approximately 99% of my life. I'm tried and cranky all the time, I'm feeling very overwhelmed by work...there's just so much of it! And now that I've started thinking about grad school I can't stop so now I get to freak out about my GPA on top of everything else.

Had an absolutely insane party here on Saturday. Delicious box wine, I think you've given me a drinking problem.

I love my friends and my roomies, they make everything better. I wish I wasn't a bitch all time. I honestly feel like I can't help it.

My wrist fucking hurts which is no big deal except I have to do stage combat tomorrow. On Tuesday Julia and I acted out the entirety of The Departed in movement. It was awesome, I love stage combat.

Ted watches the women's channel all the time and so we watch a lot of wedding shows and it makes me so so so lonely. I have tons of friends, but no one to love! It is tres tres sad.

I got Penny in You Can't Take it With You!

I'm so excited! And tonight we're having a party. I love parties. I love life!

I should break these habits.

More or less moved into my first apartment! How monumental! How exciting! I celebrated by starting the grand tradition of watching Veronica Mars and drinking margaritas. We call this MARS-arita Night. Season one finale tomorrow and I'm buying a new pair of jeans. MARS-arita Night continues.

I've been way too busy having fun to write but it should be mentioned that I drunkingly FUCKED-UP my toe and Chrissy and Laura had to Team Aline me at Elise's Grad Party. This is how I act when free beer is involved: poorly. But whatever. Last night was actually really fun even though I went to bed at midnight and I was bleeding everywhere. I wish you could see my bandaged toe this morning. It was one of the funniest drunken hack jobs I've seen in a while. In other news, today I have to put together an entire act for the circus and go to my cousin's grad party. All of this seems like it will be difficult because my toe hurts so bad. My poor little toe. It looks really gross. I feel like in my life I have made far too many livejournal entires regarding the state of my toes.

I haven't talked to me dad in a really long time but I've been thinking about heading down to New York next weekend if I can convince my friends to come with. I don't want to go alone.

I slept so much last night I slept right though my hangover. I love it when that happens. I feel amazing, if slightly bloody and greasy.

Circus is going well. I was so exhausted this passed week but I feel like on Monday I'll be pumped for it all over again.

Summer is going by fast but I've been happy pretty much all the time. It's a wonderful feeling. I listen to a lot of old-school hip-hop and old-school Rilo Kiley. It makes me feel at peace.

It's Independence Day and I'm working foreverrrr. Ugh. If I have to work tomorrow that means that I will only have not worked on Friday. That gin made me feel nasty all over. Seriously.

I'm definatly going to stop smoking. I have no voice today. I think I'm supposed to be heading to Oddfellows in a bit to learn some sick dance moves. I think I'm gonna dye my hair first though. It may take too long. I'm a really impatient person, if you've ever noticed.

I love hanging out and doing nothing and dancing and I hate not getting enough sleep and eating poorly.

Alright well, I'm off to be blonde again, I guess. As soon as my mom gets out of the bathroom.

I genuinely cannot believe we broke a window, rubbed Hot Pocket into the carpet, played 'ruit in the kitchen and basically had a slammin' party without my parents knowing or caring.

AND LAURA SURPRISED US AND CAME WITH PHILADELPHIA FRIENDS. I don't think I've ever been so glad to see someone in my life! Bennett and I lost the Sibling Showdown for the second year in a row. No one was surprised. I spit mad game but didn't even kiss anyone. No one was surprised.
Things are looking up, yo! As of today I'm employed at Hollywood Video AND Children's Circus. I'm balancing a soul-killing job with a rewarding and wonderful one and saving money for our apartment and also maybe a tattoo?

I'm definitely going to be tempted to rent Veronica Mars season 1. FOR FREE.

Ugh, I'm so full from supper. I really need to get back on the WW wagon. Dieting seems harder than I remember, what's up with that?

I'm getting really really ridiculously excited for Chrissy's birthday weekend. Nature + my best friends + beer = the best idea Chrissy has ever had.

Hilarious things are afoot.

Making cupcakes. Recovering from last night. Wearing a blue dress. Tonight there will be Harry Potter on Chrissy's big screen and I'm gonna have a blast. I have the best friends in the entire world.

Ugh I'm so unemployed and irresponsible.

I'm also having a blast. All happy, all the time. Except when the word "job" is mentioned.

Whatever. I love love love my friends.

please don't come into my room drunk and hysterical because I don't have a job after less than a week of being home and proceed to cry at me for half an hour.

it makes me sick to see you like this.

"We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature."

Home today. What a year.

Today I performed in a piece that I wrote, staged and starred in. And honestly, I totally rocked it.
I'm feeling pretty proud of that. I wish my mom was there to see it. I feel like I really accomplished something today. I've been working on that piece for a while, and hearing feedback on it was awesome, I felt so relieved when it was over. I'm running on about three hours of sleep right now and I have a final to study for, but I feel great.
Ugghhh, I feel so proud!

Alright, enough of being smug.

Sab's was great. She and Max keep tempting me to come to Boston. I will resist. I'm thinking I'm probably heading to Chicago or New York or San Francisco. I wanna see everything.

Electric feel now.

Oh, tequila. Yesterday was the last day of classes and with that comes the grand UVM tradition of Naked Bike Ride. Shenanigans ensued.

Today I have my first final and I am FREAKING OUT about it. And then I have to write two papers. I'm off to the library to study like crazy before I have to take it.

Off to Boston tomorrow morning. I can't really afford the trip but I'm going anyway because it's Sabrina's birthday and I don't wanna miss it.

Hey, the suns out.
That's a nice change.

Schools almost over, hard to believe that in a matter of weeks I'll be halfway done with college. I'm heading home for the summer, I'm gonna be working a lot but on the weekends we can go to Miller's pond and I can work on my tan and we can smoke up and drive around and have sing-a-longs. Now doesn't that sound nice? Right now I'm about to dye my hair and then we're going to our apartment and hookahing on the roof and watching the sun go down. I'm gonna put on a dress.

I miss the way things used to be sometimes, but I've been pretty happy with my life lately. I like trying on dresses I can't afford. It makes me feel good. I've gotten back into The Hold Steady because of their new live album. I'm trying to get Ted and Andrea to agree to call 62 Loomis The Party Pit. Ted says he will under no circumstances live in a place we call a pit. Whatever.

Hallelujah was a hood rat. Now you finally know that.

My show goes up next weekend. I think I'm doing good work in it, but I feel like I'm so out of practice.

perfect night.

perfect perfect perfect perfect.

And we were done, done, done
With all the fuck, fuck, fuckin' around.
You were so true to yourself.
You were true to no one else.

I didn't die and I ain't complainin'.
I ain't blamin' you.
I didn't know that the words you said to me
Meant more to me than they ever could you.
I didn't lie and I ain't sayin'
I told the whole truth.
I didn't know that this game we were playin'
Even had a set of rules.

No, but seriously, for real, I am actually feeling pretty okay about the whole mess. I'm not even that sad any more. I am mostly just really really stressed about all the work I have to get done this week. I can't wait for Spring Break. I will most certainly not be sober for any of it.
And hey, thanks for being the very best friends a girl could ask for.

It’s amazing, so amazing, so amazing, so amazing
It's amazing.
Let's go.